Veganism
For about 5 years, I was a vegan. Occasionally, I would freegan some chocolate or other desert, or I would fail to ask the ingredients for a dish if I went to a restaurant if I was sure it was vegetarian.
A few weeks ago, after a while thinking about it, I decided to start eating fish. I wanted to only eat fish I'd caught myself. My uncle has a little boat docked on a lake in Jersey that he fishes in semi-regularly during boat season. He was supposed to go out the next day after I called him a couple Saturdays ago, and would send some of whatever he caught my way. He got sick, though, and never made it out. I decided to get some fish from the Green Market at Union Sq in place of self-caught or uncle-caught fish.
I spoke with one of the stand salespeople for Blue Moon Fish Company, a small-ish operation based in Mattituck, NY. It's one guy who does most of the fishing on his 36-foot boat, and who's been selling at the Green Market for more than a decade. Since I've started eating more and more local food, I would pass his stand the once a week they were there and notice a bunch of articles on their board, stuff from the NY Times, from Zagat, from other magazines. Many of them hailed his fish as 'the freshest in NYC,' only to be surpassed by fishing it oneself. I was lured in.
For a while, I'd been re-thinking veg*nism. I mentioned before that if all the universe is comprised of sentient subjects, and that resonates really strongly with me, then I didn't have the moral basis for not killing animals but killing plants. Also, reading sites like the Weston Price Foundation and Beyond Vegetarianism made me re-think the importance of animal foods in one's diet. Also, reading in similar and other places the ill effects of soy, as well as wheat (with its mock meat form seitan) and other grains made me reconsider my protein sources. (Part of the anti-wheat and anti-soy suggestion comes from my sympathies to the Paleodiet, though I don't think it has a monopoly on good health. Just as there's no one right way to live, I don't think there's one right way to eat. Part of what makes humans so awesome is that we are so adaptable, and can live of a pretty wide range of food, depending on our heritages and lifestyle and all of that).
Anyway, I started eating fish, only from these folks, though. For one, it's all wild-caught, so I feel satisfied knowing that I'm not supporting more domestication, and especially not fish farms. It's sustainable yield, as far as I'm aware, though truthfully I haven't looked too much into that. I'm pretty sure the local Long island fishery is not endangered in the same way as some of the other world's fisheries. I'm also eating locally, not having protein-y foods shipped from 1500 miles away. So far I've had it four times, including tonight's prep for tomorrow's lunch. I didn't feel sick or anything, and felt pretty good eating it.
Previously, a month or so ago, I visited my friend Johnny's mom's place in Pennsylvania. She has a few acres there and keeps goats and hens and ducks and grows some veggies. I had some scrambled eggs from these happy hens, which was alright. He, like me, is mostly vegan in the city, but gladly ate eggs when visiting up there. He even put on a few pounds of muscle in a couple weeks, his body presumably finally getting something it sought. Also domesticated eggs, but I don't know if it's reasonable to hold out if I know the chickens play an important role on her little farm and are seemingly happy. I don't think there's any reasonable way to be 'pure' in my refusal of domestication (especially when 99% of my veggies are domesticated rather than wild).
Still, I went to a vegan potluck, and didn't feel comfortable about my recent omnivorism. I still haven't 'come out' to my old vegan roommates and friends. There's a lot of peer pressure there, which is probably intentional. If there's no way to physically force someone not to purchase animal foods, at least make them feel bad about it. I think I'm very mindful in my choices, and do try to mitigate my impact where possible. I hate factory farms and want them never to exist. I also recognize the energy use involved in eating higher trophic foods, and don't dismiss that it's far more efficient to feed mouths with grain than animals. But I still don't buy the vegan ideology, and do think eating animals is important, both spiritually and nutritionally.
All of this leaves me conflicted.
A few weeks ago, after a while thinking about it, I decided to start eating fish. I wanted to only eat fish I'd caught myself. My uncle has a little boat docked on a lake in Jersey that he fishes in semi-regularly during boat season. He was supposed to go out the next day after I called him a couple Saturdays ago, and would send some of whatever he caught my way. He got sick, though, and never made it out. I decided to get some fish from the Green Market at Union Sq in place of self-caught or uncle-caught fish.
I spoke with one of the stand salespeople for Blue Moon Fish Company, a small-ish operation based in Mattituck, NY. It's one guy who does most of the fishing on his 36-foot boat, and who's been selling at the Green Market for more than a decade. Since I've started eating more and more local food, I would pass his stand the once a week they were there and notice a bunch of articles on their board, stuff from the NY Times, from Zagat, from other magazines. Many of them hailed his fish as 'the freshest in NYC,' only to be surpassed by fishing it oneself. I was lured in.
For a while, I'd been re-thinking veg*nism. I mentioned before that if all the universe is comprised of sentient subjects, and that resonates really strongly with me, then I didn't have the moral basis for not killing animals but killing plants. Also, reading sites like the Weston Price Foundation and Beyond Vegetarianism made me re-think the importance of animal foods in one's diet. Also, reading in similar and other places the ill effects of soy, as well as wheat (with its mock meat form seitan) and other grains made me reconsider my protein sources. (Part of the anti-wheat and anti-soy suggestion comes from my sympathies to the Paleodiet, though I don't think it has a monopoly on good health. Just as there's no one right way to live, I don't think there's one right way to eat. Part of what makes humans so awesome is that we are so adaptable, and can live of a pretty wide range of food, depending on our heritages and lifestyle and all of that).
Anyway, I started eating fish, only from these folks, though. For one, it's all wild-caught, so I feel satisfied knowing that I'm not supporting more domestication, and especially not fish farms. It's sustainable yield, as far as I'm aware, though truthfully I haven't looked too much into that. I'm pretty sure the local Long island fishery is not endangered in the same way as some of the other world's fisheries. I'm also eating locally, not having protein-y foods shipped from 1500 miles away. So far I've had it four times, including tonight's prep for tomorrow's lunch. I didn't feel sick or anything, and felt pretty good eating it.
Previously, a month or so ago, I visited my friend Johnny's mom's place in Pennsylvania. She has a few acres there and keeps goats and hens and ducks and grows some veggies. I had some scrambled eggs from these happy hens, which was alright. He, like me, is mostly vegan in the city, but gladly ate eggs when visiting up there. He even put on a few pounds of muscle in a couple weeks, his body presumably finally getting something it sought. Also domesticated eggs, but I don't know if it's reasonable to hold out if I know the chickens play an important role on her little farm and are seemingly happy. I don't think there's any reasonable way to be 'pure' in my refusal of domestication (especially when 99% of my veggies are domesticated rather than wild).
Still, I went to a vegan potluck, and didn't feel comfortable about my recent omnivorism. I still haven't 'come out' to my old vegan roommates and friends. There's a lot of peer pressure there, which is probably intentional. If there's no way to physically force someone not to purchase animal foods, at least make them feel bad about it. I think I'm very mindful in my choices, and do try to mitigate my impact where possible. I hate factory farms and want them never to exist. I also recognize the energy use involved in eating higher trophic foods, and don't dismiss that it's far more efficient to feed mouths with grain than animals. But I still don't buy the vegan ideology, and do think eating animals is important, both spiritually and nutritionally.
All of this leaves me conflicted.
posted by Archangel at 8:30 PM
7 Comments:
Hello :) I didn't eat meat for about 10 years, after which, for health reasons I readded first fish and then birds (creatures I could imagine killing.) Now I don't eat any grains. I have a feeling that my dietary situation will always be a work in progress. Your blog is a good read. I'm looking forward to reading more of your thoughts.
Hi sara!
Thanks for responding. I was getting worried I'd be taking into an echo chamber with this blog, since I don't knwo how to really 'rep' myself to the other folks out there, except through comments. Maybe a readership will form in time.
I'm very with you about eating what I could imagine killing. I can definitely imagine taking a fish from water to plate without anyone else's assistance, so I'm prepared to eat them. I imagine land animals will be forthcoming at some point.
Grains are tough for me. I'm starting to reduce my intake, and be more aware of what else I could be eating instead. But I do think there are addictive components to them, and I certainly haven't kicked the habit. How did you transition?
Hope you're well!
I'm certain that grains are addictive. I eliminated grains from my diet in stages: first gluten-containing grains, then other flour-products, then the remaining whole grains. I rarely relapse, but when I do, I immediately feel the sluggishness and foggy-headedness that I had been unaware of before quitting the grains, and I crave them again for a while after. As long as I don't eat them, I don't crave them.
Hey there. I also used to be a vegan, but I only lasted about 8 months. All the Weston A. Price stuff turned me around, although I don't think my heart was ever truly in veganism - I just used it as something to feel better about myself. I think a lot of people do that - they're more concerned with the act of other people eating meat, than the animals themselves! Some of the vegans I met up with in my hometown were fucking evil I tell you, they really knew how to give you a hard time. And all they ever chatted about was vegan this, vegan that, vegan music! When I started eating animal products again, I just stopped speaking to them, it was the easiest way to do it.
It might be hard to confront your friends, but if you're feeling how you are (like I did) you need to make changes.
I felt quite depressed towards the end of my veganism, which I reckon was down the vitamin A deficiency. I eat according to the WAP now, and I'm a hundred times healthier, I have lots of energy, I have muscle now, and I feel great. I think I eat eggs and butter more than anything. I don't really eat fish at all. I still have grains, in the form of organic rye breads usually. I might try giving them up properly soon because I do have a bad feeling about them.
Sorry about the delayed response on this, I only just found your blog. Thanks for the link, I'll link to you from my site soon!
Hi dan!
Thanks for reading!
While I don't think my vegan friends are evil, they are largely fixated on their identities as vegans, and spend a lot of time in that subculture they've created. I think for some it really is about the principle, the ideology, rather than the boycott (how else to explain the refusal to eat dumpstered not vegan food simply because it's not vegan?)
I've thought about eggs, and had them a couple of times. I definitely don't want to do butter, just because I feel content to have given up dairy. What I really ought to do is start hunting and eating wild animals. I've given some thought to going to one of those wilderness schools, but am still saving up for that.
Anyway, as for eggs, NYC actually permits individuals to rear chickens, unlike most big cities in the States. It might have something to do with the large-ish immigrant population who in many cases raised chickens in their old nations. One of my friends and I have talked about that if we ever find a place with some backyard space.
Anyway, thanks again for visiting, Dan!
I've been eating a modified paleo diet for some time now, while living here at the Teaching Drum. We get our meat primarily from roadkill, which is surprisingly good. We also get a fair amount of meat (and a ton of bear fat, one of the highest quality fats you'll find) from taxidermists, who would otherwise throw it away. I definitely recommend exploring this option, and roadkill as well if you do some research first. To a much lesser extent we get meat from trophy hunters who come by and drop off their headless kills.
We also catch our own fish, though people sometimes buy sardines and canned fish. We went fishing a number of times in the last couple of weeks, during the cisco run. We ended up catching a couple hundred overall, though it was very slow the first few times we went out.
Some folks here are currently trapping and hunting as well, but with such an abundance of roadkill (we have 6 freezers and they're all full) this isn't as much for food as for learning.
We eat lots of eggs here as well, that we get from an organic farmer not too far away.
I feel like I'm eating pretty healthily here. When I first moved here I was eating lots of oatmeal and was supplementing the provided diet to a large extent (with various paleo and non-paleo foods), but lately I haven't been supplementing it near as much. I'll still buy dark chocolate (my drug of choice), some sprouted grains bread, butter, peanut butter, honey, maple syrup, and some dried fruits occasionally. Most of these aren't paleo, but are still healthy-ish in moderation.
I will say that I don't give a fuck about purity, as I feel like that's one of the most insidious values of civilization. Not to put you off or anything but I really can't stand veganism. (Some vegans are cool, but the whole -ism I simply cannot stand.) I was an overachieving kid too, and I never felt good enough about myself unless I was the best, or purest. I had to be perfect, because anything less wouldn't make my parents happy. In fact there was so much pressure on me to "succeed" and "perform" that I felt like I had to save the whole world in order to even be adequate. I've been recovering from the huge amounts of guilt and all this internalized abuse for quite some time now. So yeah, fuck purity, I just want to be happy and healthy and have a loving family.
I wish you well in your attempt at eating more locally. In the end I feel like this is the most important thing -- establishing relationships with the food available in our local areas. I want to know where all of my food comes from, and not in any abstract sense either. I want to know my food personally, whether I've hunted or gathered or gardened or raised it myself, or I know someone who has. This is where my food journey is taking me lately.
- Devin
Devin, you're so cool!
Purity 'is one of the most insidious values of civilization'- so true! It's only when people have refused to give in, refused to go along with the ebb and flow of things, that that sort of absolute control makes any sense.
And hey- Teaching Drum! That's the primary place I've been thinking about once I save some money to go learn to forage. What's your experience been there? I'd love to talk more about it, here or via email.
Awesome!
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